Knock, Knock…But it’s not her anymore….

Thursday 2nd July 2009….3more days to go….For the past two years, it was always her that would open the door for me, regardless of any condition, storm, rain, shine….etc..or vice-versa..But then, as if it was already fated, in 3 more days to come, it will no longer be her anymore to answer to my “huai ren” (bad person) call….Sometimes you really call for injustice for certain things that befall you…You suffer the consequences of those irresponsible people, those with no common sense…How brutal ah?......But it was what that happened..at the very least…haih…It was not my fault, I had eventually submitted my whole long kk list to the admin team of the “Apex” university..But somehow, don’t know how, this “brilliant” team accidentally deleted my whole long list…So obviously, and of course with a slight trauma, I had to accept the decision of not getting a place in my old hostel, prompting me to stay outside for the remaining 1 year. Yeah, of course the rent is much more than the hostel rate, double I guess but with the final year project lingering, I could not afford to walk all the way back to RST (the hostel outside our university) every night. This whole head aching episode came one week before my finals 2 months ago… and it has been a horror to me throughout these 2 months..Nevertheless, the worst scenario will be having to live with somebody new..Now who says you are definitely free from culture shock in your final year? I could still remember vividly the first day I met her…It was 30th June 2007..Usual girly kind of ice-breaking ceremony and hence the rest, was a half completed jig-saw puzzle. It was rather funny,thinking back all these while….I had thought that she was a ghost in our room..all because she was wearing a white t-shirt and had visited the washroom on that very first night. We were not that close in our first year.. Sometimes I even felt irritated because she would choose a very untimely moment to preach the Dhamma..She had even asked me to communicate with the ants( fire ants) in our room. Yup, as you can guess, I was like, uhh,ahem…”Communicate with those creatures? DIY- lah” But as the days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, hey, we are the best buddies of all leh…Mutual understanding, candle light dinner together and of course, what we young girls like to do most, pillow talk…She had always “accused” me of teaching her how to be horny..haha..one thing I do not doubt…I can proudly say that she is one understanding and sincere friend…It is really a big and “hard to accept fact” that we will not be staying together anymore for the last one year of our degree study. And I had never ever thought about the possibilities of my kk list being deleted by the admin team…But fate could be cruel sometimes..You have the happiness as well as the suffering…Sometimes you gain, sometimes you loose..Though I acted bravely in front of her, as if nothing will change, could not help it but to sob a few times over this issue while she was fast asleep…I know very well that time could never be turned back or prolonged..In fact, these 2 months passed very quickly… as if to train my emotional intelligence over and over again..Sorry, but to certain extent only, its ok…I am a human afterall..Present a sad drama (does not have to be a Korean drama) and I will go crying out loud over it….Just want to say, I am glad to have piece up half the jig-saw puzzle with you, my dearest…Though it is only half completed, at least we had had the chance to start it from zero…With this memories, let us carry on, on our own…Though we may be far apart after this, somehow our memories will always stay unite and alive..Thanks for the memories, my dear..

When The Adorable Cows Went Grazing…..in the city….

It WAS, but all a common sight when travelling up to the Northern states of Malaysia…. *smirk*…..One could never fail to notice the huge pot bellies of cows grazing happily among the open field of delicious and juicy mouth watering grass….Very well, at least it is the very fact that we have, as for now.…..an enjoyable time out there…FREEZE the time clocking…STUPEFY the rotation of the earth…Heck, silence….numbless….concrete….Then imagine yourself looking out of the windows of your four wheel drive….Image One….three terrifyingly adorable cows coming into eye contact with you…You say hello, they moo-ed back…You showed them your nice perfect set of teeth, they grin the horrendous smile to you….Hahaha…..All they had was a mode of confidence…with a high lean, mean personality..*smirk*….No, it may sound confusing to us or rather a remake of the Walt Disney highly acclaimed “The Barnyard” but the fact is not all “meaty”, at the very least…It was merely a trip to an exhibition in the north…Perlis…Off our seniors and Terick boy went, leaving us in our own bored world for a total of 4 days..Do the Maths and that will be 96 hours…Left to the whole world on our own, we did what we had been told to do….Sounds familiar to Hansel and Gratel? Anyway,to be fair, it was not all that bad….journals were read, medium plates were prepared, cells were spun down despite being very much disgusted with the whole process and the samples for GC were run as well….All was prepared for the arrival of the three, minus the grand royale usual common red carpet and mesmerising fireworks…Hahaha…One have to admit, it was not of much fun without the usual laughter in the lab….After all, life without laughing will make you feel doomed and muscle tight around the mouth area…It is like that most of time…Whenever the thing is there, we never really appreciate and have a feeling of gratitude towards them…Only when they sort of went missing, even for 4 days, you start to feel how much their presence is worth it….Nah, do not get me wrong…. I’m not merely worshipping them three….Just had to adapt to a life of a lone ranger’s world for these 4 days….Perhaps the most un-tolerable event that happened was the time when I had to spin down the cells from the fermentation thing…All was well until you caught sight of the drooling mucus-like ‘tau fu fah’ that is rotten for like weeks…Accompanying it was the “enhanced” smell of rotten eggs plus a thick concentration of NH3…haha….no more sarcastic remarks to be made…No more counter attack and so on so for……Now that they are back, it is certainly a continuous road of fun plus laughter.. After all, at the end of the day, “Laughter is certainly the best medicine.”

Sahara desert, the essence of being "hot"

Sahara desert. Little rain, low humidity and high in temperature. A little resemblance to Lab 409 until last Tuesday. The el- Nino season was finally taken over. Winter came and 14 homosapiens finally heaved a sigh of relief. Phew and wow were the two super popular words in which they had continually mentioned throughout the week. Even the microorganisms seem to be toasting towards the new found happiness. Rec PHB-4 Usm 2 entered its “overgrown” phase at 22.5 hours instead of the usual 24 hours. Wonder, wonder. Wonder what was the fuss all about? Haha…the story goes like this. During my industrial training in a research lab, be it full of people or not, we just had to endure the hot and stuffy season due to the low maintenance of the air conditioners. Since the centre of attraction of our lab is the gas chromatography machine, whenever any samples were run, we were often seen drowsy and polar-bearish…Refer to King Wey especially…HahA..It is always a known fact that each and every research officer suppose to be donning a lab coat for safety purpose…Instead, the sight of lab coats were “never seen before” in our lab. It was simply just too hot. Nothing else. Either we don not the lab coats and risk getting our clothes stained or we don the lab coats and risk ourselves fainting in the lab…What would it be for you? Perhaps it wasn’t until the extent of signing petition or having a peaceful demo but we needed to work hard too. Letters after letters were signed and approved..Purchase order were sent to the supplier but they responded by testing our patience in return…No man power. No stock…and the rest was history….14 homosapiens waited day after day..They moaned, grumbled and had the polar- bearish look…But they were determined. And finally, voila… their patience were paid off. Two brand new Panasonic air- conditioners arrived and after that, the all polar- bearish looks were seen no more….10000 B.C

"Us" in the world......

Shocked and beyond words of affinity. The best illustration that can somehow be compared to the cup of thoughts I had exactly 7 days ago. As I slowly scrolled down the pages one after another, I got all soaked up and the nauseating feeling was somehow felt..Ah…. No, it was not any disgusting sight or smell…Only, I had came across a lovely, heart warming blog which belongs to a senior of mine..Never did I realise before that he live a difficult and complicating life...Death, sickness, hardship and so on no longer a stranger for him..It was quite heart wrenching to read about it…Many times, whenever we fall again and again into the whirlpool of suffering we protested and imagined how life would be for us if it is always problem free.. We went haywire, condemning each and everything that went our way..We asked for justice and even hoped that our rotten karma will be over soon..The list goes on, as we either get a grip of ourselves and break the fall by standing up again, or in another case, if we are not determined enough, perhaps we will fall deep into the ravine of depression..The human realm is not really way different from the other realms..Though we may possess higher level of intelligence, we are still not free from sufferings..such as death, old age, sickness and birth….But we always have a choice…to climb up the ravine and be a survivor or to give up and die of hunger in the ravine…There is always the choice….One reasonable analogy that I have heard so far would be this…Human’s life is just like the open ocean..We have the waves hitting every now and then. As the waves hit high, that is when we are bombarded with extremely happy and satisfying feeling..Unfortunately, we always tend to forget that those waves, after reaching its highest peak of point might tend to hit the lowest surface of the ocean floor as well.. That will be when life becomes problematic to us and when we feel that there is no justice in this world..Am I right? The key point would be this..We should be a GOOD SURFER and surf through the waves..sense of equanimity….. Dear senior, I pray that you will always be well and happy. May the force be with you always.

Here is a short story with a beautiful message...

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.'
The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'
'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.
'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.

'If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
you will never let my hand go.'


In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...
This message is too short......but carries a lot of Feelings.

p/s : It's a really nice msg... so i thought might as well post it online.Thank you a zillion of times to the author. Thanks.... :)

To strive or not to strive on?

In the midst of a steamy and suffocating room where the chloroform is suspected to be evaporating, people tend to be sleepy and thus, yawning every now and then. Like the chloroform, my feelings are also definitely not spared from evaporating. The only exception was, we do not yawn upon our own feelings. As I watch the nearby neighbour kid indulging in her own lab work, slowly the notorious mind begin to wander off as usual, back to 4 hours ago. A huge disappointment was clearly worn at that time. It was merely because of the results of last semester finals. As the clock struck 9am whereby people began pouring in, what else is there to picture out except the normal pretending of the composure calm and steady look? Looks like some still could not get over with the long term run of building up confidence, only to see it getting destroyed. If only God is there to listen, he does, and I know, but in the end, the one and only reliable person is our dearest self. Time is ticking every second and with that, I will continue to strive on with diligence. That was Buddha’s last message…

AM back, finally!

Well, has been a while since i last blogged. Too stingy with my time to well, blog...rather, was way too immersed in life events....But memories can't run far therefore, there is always a new starting after sometime...Guess what? It was really a roller coaster life these few months...things that you can't really expect...But after all, we are all human and still in the samsara, the life cycle of life...So, why blog when everything seems to be impermanent? For many and me, its sort of reminising the thoughts...Plus not everything you could share it with your buddies right? So, blog-lah.....Whatlah,....anyway, will start to blog from now onwards....see you people again...from time to time.... :)

Wonderful New Year's Eve at Paradise..... :p

We, the whole family actually did had a memorable and wonderful dinner at Paradise on 31st December 2008....Nah, it was at the Paradise Hotel nevertheless....not any other paradise....Dad came along this time....therefore, we siblings were sort of sticking to a certain dress code instead of the free sexy skimpy style....hehehe....It was dad k....On one hand, food was not really that good...The management of that night were also below average...when it was time to feed on...guess what? It was a total scene of hungry refuges lining up for food rations....Malaysians.....come on, get a grip people...surely we have the morality in us right??Ponder, ponder.....speaking about civilisation....argh....Anyway, if you minus out that particular "zoo" part.....we had a great time surveying and modelling at various parts of the hotel....The atmosphere was great and one could never resist the temptation to go barefooted strolling down the beautiful beach....This is Penang after all.....It was a family affair as well....We seldom eat together as one big family, hence, the feeling of appreciation and gratitude....with a new year now, let bygones be bygones....live in the present and dwell not in the past and future.....Family....Love you lots.....